Saturday, December 21, 2002

PREACH LOVE : the light seen

Sent: 12/21/2002 11:54 AM


did you see the light that we saw
what light
the light
what light
that we saw
light
the light
the light
the light that we saw
you saw a light
did you see the light
what light

bright lights
dark lonely city
bright shine bright
love glow beautiful
bright
shine


bright lights
cold hard city
nourish sparkle nourishment
hope twinkle healing
bright
shine

bright lights
vast wilderness city
bloom compassion bloom
tenderness implosion
bright
shine

shine bright
bright lights

did you see the light
the light
that we saw
light
the light
the light
the light that we saw
oh

yes, i see the light

oh
shine bright
bright lights
like the star
that flew over
Bethlehem
that Night



Monday, December 16, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Love SOC

Sent: 12/16/2002 9:19 AM

LoveSOC (stream of consciousness)

Love. It's a difficult one, huh? We read it, we look at it, we hear it, we say it, we wonder upon it. Love. Love. Its ocean vast. Love. There are so many different feelings that come alive in us, some that we may grieve, some that we might even doubt, some that's beauty is forever, some that lift us to soar evermore. Love. Can mere I even begin to describe it? Love. Human beings experience it, frolic in it, find tremendous happiness in it, succeed to it above all others, but keep it far at bay for fear of the extreme sadness that may too accompany it. Whoa, the power of. Love. And yet, when you don't think too long over it, Truly, it is very simple, isn't it?

If I were to call Love just an emotion, I would hardly being doing it justice. It is certain that we feel it, but it goes far beyond that. Beyond feeling, Love intertwines human beings and provides the ultimate connection between them, enough to change the journey of one's life. The electricity of it is unfathomable. Sparks of static from a warm blanket. For instance, when you look across the table at that one you love so, the one that loves you from your head to your toes, and that moment your eyes flash a knowing in silence, you understand the power of it. Love. A connection of two human beings is made, in a more unique way, different from all others, and your lives grow. So. Love. More than just emotion, and yet still more than just a catalyst of growth in a human's life, more like something that is so powerful, God represents it in it's most purist form. Love.

Love pure. Love real. Wow, I find myself at a loss. Love is something so much more than can be described by mere words. It would be that our feeble words seem to lose their meanings over time, as so often they are misgiven, misdirected, misguided, misdriven. So often we think of love as some nonsense that has been said to us, but never backed 100%. But Love Pure is unconditional. It is something that cannot be mistaken, cannot be duplicated, cannot be anything less than honest. Pure Love is Truth, as Love pure leads to God. And His Love is the ultimate. Whatever the Ultimate ideal Love for you, this is God for you. So trust.

And He does love you so. I don't know what happened, but that truth has been lost along the way as perfection more the issue of today. How many humans will die in vain searching for something they cannot have? Perfection. God loves you. He loves you for you, no ifs ands or buts. Buts. There are many of those I've heard lately. God loves you but. But what? For God so loves you, is eternal. Sacrificing His Love for humanity is everlasting. Forgiveness for being human, damaged from our crying birth, is Holy. God loves you. He made a promise with you. Believe and be freed, and then you will see. Just say forgive me. Jesus Christ is the key.

Every human loving another human in the way God loves us would mean peace on earth. Love God and love each other. Eternal Peace birthed. Now that’s. Love.

Love.


Wednesday, December 11, 2002

PREACH LOVE : getting older

Sent: 12/11/2002 11:52 AM


as my hands cross my cheeks and brow
i find i'm getting older
and i'm glad

PREACH LOVE : Thank You

Sent: 12/11/2002 11:50 AM


Thank You
for what You've done for me
for what You've let me see
for what You've promised to be
for what You've given to me

Thank You
for everything I have
for every moment that I'm glad
for every growth when I'm sad
for everything about Chad

Thank You
for Your showers of blessings
for letting me shine Your glory
for allowing me to be a part of the plan
for pulling me from my quicksand

Thank You
for Saving me from myself
for Giving me Your Heavenly Help
for Loving me enough to set me Free
for Sacrificing Christ so I could be me

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You!

eternal love,

PREACH LOVE : rice pane

Sent: 12/11/2002 11:48 AM


rice pane outside my window grain
sprouting forth your green of leaves
swimming in water bugs reflecting
seed your plant to grow within me
xoxo
love


Wednesday, December 4, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Thanksgiving rags

Sent: 12/4/2002 1:40 PM


because a 30 year old man
cannot dress himself sensibly
his mother's necessity
was to clothe him in JCPenny's
for what would the family at Thanksgiving dinner think
seeing her son in self-appointed rags
down to the holes in the shoes on his feet

at first he refused adamantly
against this betrayal against self
but in caring for his tearful mother
he relinquished Thanksgiving day selfless
adorned a new red ribbed cranberry sweater
over a white buttoned cotton shirt
pressed corduroys in khaki he modeled
in her ideal form of appearanced worth

he gave in, gave up, forgot who he was
being something else than he really is
was the image that he doesn't have any desire to be
but thinking it's just one day, Thanksgiving day
just for one day Real he wouldn't be
yes, it was for just one day
for his mom and his dad, for his family

dressed in dressing smiles
his cousin bounded towards him with boy in tow
her boyfriend, she introduced them,
and then said words that made him his own foe
so this is my cousin, my cousin in New York City
the one that gave me my style
see can't you see he's materialistic like me
immediately his mouth filled with bile

that one day he needed to truly be him
and show how he's changed was the day he was muted
and words would not be able to express the witness
that his mother's desired appearance silenced
no, he did not love properly
for in not loving himself enough to challenge the love of others
he perpetuated the lie that he had lived long before
and actually volunteered its stutter

be yourself always

lesson learned

Sunday, November 24, 2002

PREACH LOVE : a prayer for help

Sent: 11/24/2002 1:49 PM

And then I look to God, always.

Help me dear Lord, as I walk this path that You have lead me. Let me do it justice and beauty for Your glory and Name.

Oh help me, as I grow weak, strengthen me. Keep me on Your path always. Never let me tarry. Push and guide me along as You see fit. Do not leave it to my human hands, for You have saved me and know beyond me what You shall accomplish through me. Do not let me forsake You or cause harm in Your Holy Name. Be with me always, Father.

I am afraid. I want so much to succeed for You, and the fear of not doing so plagues me. Release me that so I may succeed. Grant me confidence without any arrogance. Give me the gift of wisdom that I may more easily discern my choices. Allow me to be a leader which is humble and giving.

Hear my prayer oh God, Jehovah Father. I love you eternally.

In Jesus Christ's name I pray.

Chad


Thursday, November 21, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Racial Slurs

Sent: 11/21/2002 5:18 PM

Performed at the Bowery Poetry Club Open Mic, Spring 2003

"you smoke nigger cigarettes?"
he says, pulling one from my fingertips
excuse me?
he deserved a red hard slap
but so repulsed
i could only laugh
i guess so
no, i know so
i frankly tell him
i have a nigger's soul
his wide blue eyes pop pop
the cracker's in some sort shock
he crumbles: that can't be

sad little cock
my feathers look your flock
and yet my truth
blocked your despicable
disgusting mock
See him reaching for his lock
in order to protect his stock
stupid fuck
just stop
stop
stop
stop
no more


i'm just me
held in a human body
outward colored whitely
enslaved to your reality
where judged harshly by humanity
especially here in the Land of the Free
where the ideal life
is what they dictate it to be
as the powers' majority
determine normality
prescribe what is sanity
segregate spiritualities
all the while maintaining
their own color scheme

furthermore
(on my soap box standing)
they say I'm just a number
unless I'm a gifted in currency
own a lot of worldly property
and have a stellar credit rating
d.) none of which is me

oh
and that's not to mention
preaching to me
the proper penile entry
thinking they have a say
in MY sexuality
no, please
please
please
please


are you sorry asked for a cancer stick?
i'm sorry that you seem like such a dick
your comment just made me so -
ill
for when you went barking
up the wrong tree
all of your deathly neg-ativity
sucked forth some rage
set loose a tangent from its cage
from deep inside me
about all these transgressions
repeating offensively
and, if for nothing else
thanks for reminding me

so, i guess you're of the majority
that obviously doesn't see what I see
through my own movie screen
as it premiers the reality i'm living
day after day after day after day
no matter what you label or say
in fact, why not shout it again loudly
idealistic Chad is crazy
i honestly don't care
for in your world of complexity
i'm still pledging to be
the impassioned simplicity
of just me, just loving
loving
loving
loving


me unconditionally loving
each and all my human kin
anything else is simply sin
it doesn't matter what color skin
or even what lies deep within
your racial slur deeply offends
yet even now you're still my friend
but i'm not going to sit here
and try to pretend
I agree with your bigotry

for truly every single face
in every single place
is equal
closed case
so enough with your competitive race
feel love and believe
God's Given Grace
Grace
Grace
Grace
that splashed into my empty space


yes, this is me, my all
earnestly thin and tall
dancing in my life's ball
with my own many special
stumbles and falls

yep, this is me, my all
my very own unique call
which, to my lungs appall
but just at the moment
happens to involve
menthol

Thursday, November 14, 2002

PREACH LOVE : dear friend

Sent: 11/14/2002 11:40 AM


devour yourself in your own lustrous waste
looking for love in all the wrong place
i wonder why you spend the time you do
in looking for something that hasn't found you
yet

your day is coming so leave enough alone
why the desperation of waiting for the phone
jumping to connections isn't your best suit
for wearing to a party made of heavenly duets
perhaps

but i just jibber and jabber away
and perhaps you think I have nothing to say
nonsense makes no sense when you start to think
wallpaper on desktop is light green and pink
alas

you laugh but it's true
these things i'm telling you

PREACH LOVE : Anger2

Sent: 11/14/2002 11:37 AM


why am i angry
at all that i see
is there something
i'm not seeing
lying within me

why am i angry
at my friend and neighbor
am i right and they're wrong
when i play the
sole spectator

why am i angry
when i shall not judge
when i am not perfect
and lack much
from Above


nevertheless
what's real is
i'm angry


what feels angry
is the injustice I see
every day jealousy
every way hypocrisy
selfishness in
the all about me

what feels angry
is the feeling in me
when it is discounted
what i do see
all around me
and simply because
i am me

what feels angry
is my feeling angry
at myself, I, and me
this earthly positioning
my worldly circumstance
folly


i'm angry cause
the world
it reeks


gotta change

PREACH LOVE : Chance

Sent: 11/14/2002 11:19 AM


Golly jeepers, geez louise
it's you again
up underneath my sleeves
telling your story
dictating it real
spinning your web
in order to appeal
master brainwasher
you're selling some lies
for i know you
beneath that disguise
Don't fool me
with your preaching love
only to turn
and give me the shove
Listen
I forgive you for leaving
I even forgive you for stealing
but don't bust up my brothers
with your willing and dealing
making a damn mockery
of our loving charity
for God knows you
from cavity to cavity

and with the same severity
so will I be judged
I pray for God's mercy
from Heaven above

If you're taking the chance
to roll the dice
beware the price

so just
love

Friday, November 8, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Love thee

Sent: 11/8/2002 11:43 PM


Everybody's sinning
when you are pretending
to be anything else
than just being yourself
as God made you to be
And through Christ set you free

Love thee

Best be repenting
for you're sure enough sinning
when your hatred is winning
and love seems descending
for God so loved you
That He granted you the Key

Love thee

Love thee
He knows you
Love thee
He loves you
Love thee
He forgives you
Love thee

Now love

PREACH LOVE : Save me from myself

Sent: 11/8/2002 11:41 AM


Save me from myself
as old depression
seeks me out

Instead of being in the now
he sneaks back
to yesteryear

Lonesome sighs at lack of
sightly accomplishment
hoped for

dreamed of

The Father reminds me
"All in good time"
His time

Frowning childishly
impatient in now
selfishly I want

He giggles tousling my hair
waves a smile
from my frown

Lighten up.

PREACH LOVE : coldloneliness

Sent: 11/8/2002 11:38 AM


The cold
that sneaks under my covers
pricks my toes
crackles my throat
has arrived

The loneliness
that married me as companion
haunts my sleep
wrestles my libido
has remained

Thursday, November 7, 2002

PREACH LOVE : comfort food

Sent: 11/7/2002 2:32 PM

The crisp blue winds tonight pushed me, pulled me, and raised me towards the occasional pink reflected clouds caught in a swift stream of their own. I wondered what all the chaos was about as I walked home starlit in a whirlwind of autumn colored leaves. I was coming from a little diner where I had dinner - a western omelet with cheddar cheese, french fries, whole wheat toast, and a tall, iced coco-cola. Comfort food. My comfort food.

Lately, I haven't felt so comfortable. I've been dealing with that guilt that only I can induce upon myself. After many repeated trips and stumbles, I scorn, 'Can't you do anything right, Chad?' and I shudder in my feeling doubt that I can. Granted, truth be told, that is a learned question; however, today, it resonates with my voice, so I cannot toss the blame. Still the feeling remains, and I wonder where my confidence has vacationed.

Trying.

Praying.

Faithing.

Hoping.

Loving.


PREACH LOVE : She had a walker

Sent: 11/7/2002 2:29 PM

She had a walker
He had a cane
They were before me
In line to vote
Yesterday

I voted just up the block in the elementary school directly across the street from the nursing home. When I walked into the school's cafeteria, I was amazed by all the tables, numbers, and people with walkers, oh my. There was very slow movement around the sign-in tables of each district. I had to chuckle. I thought it was going to be better for me to vote during the day rather than around closing time. I hadn't factored in the nursing home residents. A very small lady with deep glasses and white hair was wandering aimlessly about the tall army green voting booth machines looking back and forth from her voter registration card to the numbers taped onto the elderly machines. It did seem confusing, and I quickly pondered my senility.

A nice suited guy with a florescent green sticker seemed to scream, I'm information, ask me, so I did, and he pointed me in the right direction of where my district's voting booths were. I was amazed at how many districts were set up to vote in this one place. I walked to the table and stood in line to sign in. Beyond the booth, a woman being assisted by her nurse threw her walker the full arms length in front of her and quickly slid in behind it trying to get out of the way of the next voter. She cringed as she attempted to scuttle past another woman's rear almost blocking her escape path. Finally, the nurse helped her around, and the next voter walked into the booth. This was going to be a long but entertaining process.

When I did get to vote, I couldn't get over the city's voting booths. These seeming 50's x-ray machines were priceless. There certainly was a kind of childlike curiosity in stepping inside the black curtains, while the woman assisting cranks a lever turning on a little white light bulb on the top just above the green one. And it was kind of fun to pull the big red lever like a gear shift with a clang and clank and then start flipping manual switches, making my selections. And I did get a good laugh from the old woman who came into my booth with the woman assisting in order to help me figure all this out to begin with. AND, honestly, there was even some glee when I pulled the big red lever back over to complete my vote with a big thadud. But then really, with the technology we have today!!!

All in all, I left the elementary school feeling really good about voting. I had no idea how it was going to turn out, but I had made my choices along with the others flowing in and out of the school. I just remember, no matter who gets the job, we the people are still the boss. For real democracy doesn't begin and end in a voting booth.

Monday, November 4, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Outside my Window

Sent: 11/4/2002 11:19 AM

And of course I spelled his name wrong. A poem for a very beautiful soul, and I spelled his name wrong in the copy I sent him via e-mail. I immediately shudder thinking he will be offended or worse, hurt. And true, I have yet to hear.

Those were the days when the pipes clanged as the temperature dropped. An orchestra of heating sounded throughout the cove of my apartment building. Beyond my window, wind chimes softly greeted me, although there happens the occasion where the wind plays those like clanging pipes as well. Different music for different moments. Transitions between.

Leon was furious with me for being late to meet him and Frank to pick up the uhaul. I was certainly hating it as well. So many sorries today. So many apologies for my so many blunders of today. These seem harsh bumps in the road. I pray they make me stronger.


PREACH LOVE : Giuliano

Sent: 11/4/2002 11:11 AM


"Giuliano"

When moonbeams dance across your eyelashes
Like fingers twirling along an ebony and ivory floor
The light in your soft brown eyes warmly twinkles
Before you leap onto the winds of heaven to soar

Thursday, October 17, 2002

PREACH LOVE : This land is your land

Sent: 10/17/2002 11:14 AM


This land is your land
This land is my land
This is our land

yet we kill over it, day after day

This earth is your earth
This earth is my earth
This is our earth

yet we destroy her, generation after generation

This God is your God
This God is my God
This is our God

yet we worship humanity, age after age


when
is it enough

to
change


This soul is His soul
This soul is my soul
My soul is His

thus I give Love, eternity after eternity

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Leon, me, and a poem

Sent: 10/16/2002 6:04 PM

Chad:

"To Lady Mendl's for tea
At a quarter past three
Quite properly skipping
Twas Leon and me,"

Leon:

"And Leon did note
as bleeted a goat
that blaaaah was the style
o' Lady Mendl's new tote."


PREACH LOVE : Jesus a Warrior?

Sent: 10/16/2002 11:11 AM

Chad,

I've been keeping up with your emails concerning the proposed war in Iraq and had some questions. (Naturally - I'm a midwestern Republican gun-owner!). So here goes.

Would you agree with me that God has in the past used war in His purposes for 1)Rebuking His people for their misbehavior (as when the Babylonians conquered Israel and took them captive), 2)Showing His favor on Israel (as they came into the promised land, they conquered lots of people), 3)Judging unrighteous nations (God brought armies against Babylon after Babylon had taken Israel captive and then released them)? So, we would agree that any thoughtless rejection of war would be foolish, because God has used war in the past to do His good will. Now, you might say that the New Testament changed all that, and I would disagree but be willing to grant your arguement, however, it becomes difficult to hold that position with some of the things that are said about Christ's new position of rule after His resurrection. For instance, in Psalm 2 (a Psalm concerning Christ) says this:

"Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us...Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel. Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth. Serve the LORD with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him."

Quite a lot of dashing and anger in there! But the point stands - Christ, Who is now at God's right hand ruling, is a mighty Warrior - not having a problem with war. Again, we see this picture of Christ in 1 Corinthians 15:24-26:

"Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death."

Destroying, putting enemies under foot. Interesting that this should be said of Christ.

Is it safe to say that Christ is indeed a Warrior, and not against war per se?

Sincerely,

M

--------------------------------------------------------------

Dear M,

You have very good questions, and I can only tell you what's on my heart, and I pray that it will make some sense.

My name, "Chad", is Celtic for warrior. Honestly, I always hated those little cards that said so, for I felt that it misrepresented who I was. As a child, the last thing I felt like was a warrior, for fighting was something that I didn't understand and couldn't identify with. When I was twelve years old, I allowed the boys in my sixth grade classroom to throw rocks at me during one break in the school day, and although tearful, I never raised a stone from the ground to fight back. My child believed in Jesus Christ's teaching of turning the other cheek, and although my heart cried in agony over the torment, I knew it was for the good somehow. By resisting my human aggression, I was able to Truly love them. For they didn't know what they were doing.

My adult has fortunately retained that child's faith that guided me that day many years ago. Still today, at twenty-nine, I maintain to turn the other cheek. I’m blessed with the faith that holds my every day’s reality to Christ's Golden Rule: Do unto others as you'd have done unto you. Love your neighbor as yourself. And do it Honestly. =) Granted, I'm human, so it isn't always flawless, but I love God with all my heart, and I strive to be perfect in this Love Christ taught me. The Love that is the very core of our spiritualities. The Love that was glorified in God's Ultimate Sacrifice so that all may live.

If Jesus Christ is a warrior, then I believe He is a Warrior of God's Love for the world. The fact that He walked, taunted and teased, bruised and beaten, ridiculed and bleeding, to the mound of skulls and still felt Love in His heart for each and every guilty face He saw on His way makes Him a Warrior for Love like none other. The fact that He allowed them to drive stakes through His completely innocent hands and still refrained from ripping His executioners from the earth is a fight well won for the Victory of Love. The fact that He allows humanity to continue its existence ages after His Resurrection in order to win a spiritual war beyond our flesh and blood is what God's Love is all about.

Oh, truly, I must ask you, what serves His glory more:

Eliminating a life in His name or representing His Love by giving a life hope?

Faith, hope and love; the greatest of these love.

These are my thoughts, for what they’re worth. I hope they are understandable. =)


Tuesday, October 15, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Jesus said

Sent: 10/15/2002 11:18 AM


Jesus said to love your enemies

Yet humans seem to have an "unless"
Their own lives, further,
Their own childrens' lives
More valuable than all others
Even those dying for them, yes

Jesus said to love your neighbor

Yet humanity's walls flourish across the earth
Selfishness and pride, further,
Greed and arrogance
Hold them captive within their fences
Their own blades cutting them from Love's birth

Jesus said to be kind to the ungrateful and wicked

Yet True Faith to them appears hard to find
God's Justice, further,
God's Judgment
Not even factored into their spirituality
Mice in wheels following their minds

Jesus said to do good to your enemies

Yet they remain skeptical He is the answer
His Grace, further,
His Unconditional Love
Slandered by scriptured media junkies as
Contaminated self-fulfilling prophecy stirs

Jesus said be merciful, just as your Father is merciful

Or shall humans forever play their own god
Their own condemner, further,
Their own persecutor, further,
Their own executioner

Or will we come at last to really
Trust
What Jesus said


Do it for Real.


Faith
Hope
Love

Monday, October 14, 2002

PREACH LOVE : A little impromptu

Sent: 10/14/2002 8:00 PM

Winter breezes outside my window. I am amazed by the real feeling that comes with the change of seasons. I can't exactly say what kind of feeling that is, but it is a definite one. Something new is in the air, pushing out something which is old, making way for beginnings. And it is all for the good of God.

As we shall see.

* * *

Believe in the good of God and let not your heart be troubled. Find your being rested firmly under His. Go forward into the cold, for God is ever warming you with Hen's feathers.

Protected transistions.

Thursday, October 10, 2002

PREACH LOVE : No More Violence II

October 10, 2002

Dear United States Congress:

“No more violence!”

These are the words I have been screaming since September 11th 2001, and yet my government doesn’t listen to me nor the tens of thousands of Americans voicing opposition to a war on Iraq. Presently, you are deciding whether or not to offer one man the sole authority to wage war. Therefore I must scream again,

“No more violence!”

I charge you to vote against the authorization of broad powers to the president to wage a unilateral, preemptive war against Iraq. As an American citizen, I demand that you represent my voice. Furthermore, in the event that you do not vote against this authorization, know that I will work to remove you from office during the next election of your position.

“No more violence.”

What happened in New York City and Washington D.C. a year ago should never happen again, anywhere in the world. I wish our pain on no other global citizen. I want to believe that my country will realize that violence of any kind, “good or evil”, must stop here, with us.

Be strong, feel love, show mercy,

Chad Gurley


Monday, October 7, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Get a grip

Sent: 10/7/2002 10:36 PM


Get a grip, she said
As she steamrolls right over me
My Nature an oddity
As I drive against majority

Get a grip, she said
As my flying is puzzling
Fluttered with insecurity
As she hopes for my conformity

Get a grip, she said
As she let go of support for me
My idealism drifting to crazy
As she diagnoses me mentally

Whose grip? I asked
As my mind thinks Spiritually
Recalling my soul's Priority
As God's Love the Only Reality

One Love, I thought
As he spoke the word "enemy"
Blind my eyes open to see
As Jesus Christ did teach me

Sunday, October 6, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Mister President George

Sent: 10/6/2002 10:30 PM


Mister President George
Torment me no more with your turn
Tire me not with your chess match
Checkmate with my pawn no more

Mister President George
Tax none for your merciless kingdom
Fuel not your weapons of violence
Pay nothing for your killing of another

Mister President George
Listen to your starving people
Acknowledge these our voices Living
Pledge solemn allegiance to our Liberty

Mister President George
Remember the Kingdom of Heaven
Value God's Love for Humanity
Cherish the Life He Gave

See. Just see. Please see.

Value you me

* * *

Get Real

Thursday, October 3, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Sickness and Health

Sent: 10/3/2002 2:06 PM


The torrents of the night do call
across the canyon of my soul
and despair reigns hard
upon the shattered ground below

Pain seems some sort food
Morsels splish between the cracks
Filling my dusty chamber
With the nourishment I lack

Acceptance brought Renewal.

* * *

Joy.

Wednesday, October 2, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Can they hear me?

Sent: 10/2/2002 12:48 PM


Can they hear me?
Without the trumpets of scholarly
masters' names beside mine
on this blank empty page


Will they read me?
Minus the green, ivy covered stones
with many varying degrees
of filtered Sonlight strown

Call I sound them?
Much like the tall oak tree falling
quite softly quiet
in doves' fluttered silence


Only God knows.

* * *

Even muted whispers' ripples echo.

Tuesday, October 1, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Sick

Sent: 10/1/2002 9:45 AM


Sickness provides delirious stillness
Thoughts seem to bud, flower, fruit,
And grow whole worlds until
Sharply guillotined by the very next one

Thursday, September 26, 2002

PREACH LOVE : i lose friends

Sent: 9/26/2002 8:18 PM


i lose friends
fabric becomes unraveled
my confidence seems arrogant
my knowledge seems unrealistic
the thread is cut

"Regardless, I wish you the best."

i feel loss
patterned designs sheared
empty paper dresses

"Cut from different cloth."

i feel sadness
tapestry faded bleached
when just before colored

What happened?

i feel bland
stitches give way
my love cut short
my friendship stopped
mourning corduroy boy

You are not of this world.


Sunday, September 22, 2002

PREACH LOVE : If you're happy and you know it . . .

Sent: 9/22/2002 5:44 PM

Do you remember that song? If you were happy and you knew it then you clapped your hands. If you were happy and you knew it then you stomped your feet. If you were happy and you knew it you said "Amen".

Clap, stomp, "Amen!" =)

I never hear it much anymore. A funny thing seems to have happened to us. Here at that somewhere along the way in history, humanity seems to be stuck in 'complacent', and oddly relishing in its complacency, people have chosen to stop Knowing. In not Knowing, no one is doing much of anything.

Stagnant air.

There are no claps no stomps no "Amens" to be heard. Sad confused silence looms across the plains of America as its cattle graze mindless of other pastures with some lone bull they've chosen standing guard. Can you tell me, have they really forgotten all about the Resurrected Cowboy who has Infinitely been tending their herd? The Cowboy that knows the name of every single calf that scampers from udder to other in the warm sun.

Politically, the U.S. Congress is pledging its allegiance to the Bush Administration, transforming our government into a militant aggressor, a "we'll get you first" mentality, a thou shalt not kill UNLESS society that, I must frankly say, is NOT Christian. God's Prince of Peace invited all to live. God would want that no man should die. Therefore this leaves the will to us.

Choose wisely.

Despairingly ironic in a demographically Christian nation, 80% of you think that going to war is the right thing to do. I shudder in your not knowing, and just as I charged George Bush to remember his place, I charge you to examine your heart. Long ago and far away are the days when war was fought like a chess match; when the killer was forced to look into the eyes of his foe as he took his life. In the 21st century, nations aren't nearly as personal. Countries don't have to actually see anyone that they kill. Flips of words then buttons can destroy mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers of all nationalities, all countries, all peoples. Dangerous games when God is watching.

***

Simon Peter was enraged when he saw them take Jesus Christ into custody. His face filled with anger at the injustice. He couldn't imagine that this was really about to happen. They were going to take Him away. Jesus was going to be killed? Igniting, he felt he needed to stop them. Raging, he wanted to act first. Loving, He wanted to protect his Jesus. Drawing his sword, Simon Peter lunged toward one of the servants of the priests who came to get Jesus. The servant's ear was severed. Suddenly the soldiers drew their swords in a heat, and growled at their scowling aggressors.

Jesus touched Malchus's ear and the blood stopped flowing. Jesus smiled as He looked in Malchus's scared, perplexed eyes. It was going to be okay. Jesus turned and rebuked Simon Peter for taking God's will into his own human hands. Faith in God means believing He alone knows what is best. And God's will was and is Jesus Christ's Love for humanity.

***

If you are in the 80% who thinks that going to war is the realistic, practical thing to do, I implore you to search for the god you are serving and what it is providing you in that reality. Yes, now is a very good time for some real soul searching. If you really want to see the Truth, see the earth's souls through God's eyes. Existing in a place of global power holds the U.S.A. accountable for its use of it. With great power comes great responsibility. Would Christ use his power to destroy others? What are you choosing? Where does your soul stand in His Kingdom?

No matter what, say SOMETHING!

The United States of America is a democracy, so your voice is in your hands just waiting to be used. Thank God for our American freedom that gives the people of its nation the power. I must beg of you: Now is the time to use that power for the good of the world.

God bless the world.

---

FWD:

And listen guys, we forward chain letters and "my favorite things" and jokes all the time. Why not forward along something that touched your heart or made you think or maybe just annoyed the hell out of you? I'm not talking about my stuff alone either! =) I would love to read some of your sharings that I could forward along as well. Technology today enables us to have some really wonderful connections with one another.

Share God’s blessings! Don't just read and delete. It only takes a spark to get the fire of God’s Love going, so pass it on. Change must start with us. Complacency is over. Let’s communicate about some things so the world our children inherit will not be the world of death and destruction we live in today.

Thanks for letting me get some things off my chest.

I love you all.

PREACH LOVE : Accept you

Sent: 9/22/2002 1:54 AM


You have been granted freedom
by Christ,
yet you would rather the chains
of captivity?

Accept your freedom.

Be you.

Saturday, September 21, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Racing toward's the earth's atmosphere

Sent: 9/21/2002 1:57 AM


Racing towards the earth's atmosphere
Wondering what it's like way up there
Shooting like a star smackdab into the sky
With superengines blasting you burst by

Burn or pass is the mission's question
And your simple being can only reckon
To live or to die really the true answer
But does your satellite have enough power

Then you remember That which is True
For you're especially you and Promised to do
With a Very Great Big Boost from Way Beyond
You're Waved with an Unconditional Love wand

Sound
Waves
Boom

Showering starry sparks you push through
Way out into the infinite Great Big Blue
Alive and Protected therefore Justified
You've broken on through to the Other Side

Wednesday, September 18, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Don't apologize

Sent: 9/18/2002 10:22 PM

I'm actually not sorry if the poem "You'll have to excuse me" sounds a little arrogant.

Honestly, I'm tired of apologizing for being your "idealistic". I'm tired of apologizing for believing in something beyond myself. I'm tired of apologizing for having faith.

I'm tired of apologizing for being Christian. I'm tired of apologizing for all the wrong that has been done in the name of Christianity. I'm tired of apologizing for respecting you no matter what your beliefs. I'm tired of apologizing for loving you exactly as you are. Golly, I guess I'm just tired of apologizing for being me.

...so...

No more apologies. Write me or don't. Call me or don't. Like me or don't. Criticize me or don't. Pity me or don't. Laugh at me or don't. Judge me or don't. Understand me or don't. Know me or don't. Believe me or don't. Kill me or don't. Love me or don't.

...for...

It doesn't really matter.

I love you no matter what.

That's my Reality.


PREACH LOVE : You'll have to excuse me

Sent: 9/18/2002 10:22 PM


You'll just have to excuse me
for cherishing our slaughtered Prince of Peace
for believing in Jesus Christ as Savior
for faithing in my Father's Sacrifice for us
for trusting His unconditional Love
for honoring God's Promise

You'll just have to excuse me
for speaking against the powers that be
for placing America as a second priority
for seeing outside this political box
for serving only One Master
for pledging my allegiance to God

You'll just have to excuse me
for loving every human being living
for thinking my neighbor lives beyond my neighborhood
for valuing even the lowliest life
for desiring peace at all cost
for hoping for humanity's survival

You’ll just have to excuse me
for being confident in my soul
for being much less than perfect
for being cleansed by His grace
for being “idealistic” in my love
for being me

You'll just have to excuse me
for being Chad: A human
Being.

PREACH LOVE : Bananas

Sent: 9/18/2002 7:46 PM


As my generation
looks around
at the state
of the world
you've left us,

I wonder
if
you were so blind.

As paperwork is
occupation, and
we begin
to question
the worth
of the bananas
you push us
through our caged cubicals,

I wonder
if
you are still so blind.


Let the blind man see.
Let us do our thing.

Friday, September 13, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Them and us

Sent: 9/13/2002 2:41 PM


Us and them
it resonates
in her head
Us and them

Them and us
it pounds
against brown ears
Them and us

Us and them
it bursts
upon patriotic display
Us and them

Them and us
it's thought
by Peter's rage
Them and us

Us and them
it dices
slices of humanity
Us and them

Them and us
it's squelched
in Christ's fingers
to transform: We

We

We

We.

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Remember

Sent: 9/11/2002 5:52 PM


Remember it.
Don't relive it.

God bless us all.

Saturday, September 7, 2002

PREACH LOVE : Let there be Peace on Earth

Sent: 9/7/2002 5:16 PM


"Let there be Peace on Earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be Peace on Earth,
The Peace that was meant to be.
With God as our Father,
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother
in perfect harmony.

Let Peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow
To take each moment
And live each moment
In Peace Eternally!
Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me!”


I sang the first chorus of this as a solo in our sixth grade graduation ceremony at P.C.A. I remember singing it because I meant it. I still do.

Thursday, September 5, 2002

FLIGHT : Hornet's nest

Sent: 9/5/2002 3:49 PM

We had a hornet's nest in our storage room just off the garage when I was growing up. Every summer, it would appear and grow, while its inhabitants sought to terrorize anyone that walked in the room to grab a shovel or the lawn mower or another stored item. It seemed that weekly, my dad would go in, knock the nest down, stomp on it, break out the Raid and kill all the hornets that he could. He hoped that he could make the room safe for us by simply eliminating the problem. Nevertheless, he could never kill ALL the hornets. For the next week we would see the nest begin to grow again, and before we knew it, our storage room once again buzzed with angry hornets guarding their position.

It was not until after a harsh cold winter blew into our town did the hornets stop terrorizing our storage room. That spring after, we were surprised to see an empty place where the hornets historically built their nests all the summers before. I found myself amazed by the experience. As I stared at the oddly quiet room I thought, "Dad couldn't do it, so it took God to rid us of those pests."

Have faith in God and
Leave it in His hands.
Only He really knows
What must be done.

Tuesday, September 3, 2002

FLIGHT : Wise Sheep

Sent: 9/3/2002 8:07 PM


We must remember that we are all sheep,
And it is a foolish one that follows others.
The wise sheep is one that keeps his eyes on
The Good Shepherd,
For then you cannot go astray.


FLIGHT : Dear Mister President

Sent: 9/3/2002 12:45 PM


September 3, 2002

President George Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NY
Washington, DC 20500

VIA FACSIMILE: 202-456-2461

Dear Mister President,

My name is Chad Gurley, and I'm a concerned American Christian, global citizen. Shall this letter ever truly make it to your sight, God bless these words.

Life seems as though we are standing on the edge of time. Hopeful of 20/20 hindsight, it is encouraging so much history is behind us.The human existence amazes me. The fact that we've continued to preserve it illuminates its awe. Humanity is such a distinct mark on earth, and I'm in hopes that it will ultimately be a good one.

God has blessed you in becoming the American nation's leader; therefore, let that set itself as an extreme value in God's eyes. If the Christian nation, America, Truly raised from David through Christ, is represented by you, I would be ever prayerful as I inched it closer and closer to the Holy War. Please understand your reality, for it is being recorded in the Book of Life. In calling yourself Christian, President George, you are representing Him and His nation within all human history. Weight your journey with that of King Nebachadnezzer and fear God. You can be certain that you are being watched closely.

After your stubborn statements of your making decisions regardless of support, I charge you to remember your place. You were elected to that position in life. Our democratic government states that its people are its ruler. We the people make the decisions. Every day, I witness strained Americans crying out to you. And God is alive working in them. September 11th's deaths birthed a special awareness in humanity of humanity. Are you hearing? Alone and in silence, be on your hands and knees praying for His wisdom during these important times.

And listen.

Mister President, I respectfully urge you to reconsider any proposed military action against Iraq. I motivate you to give the United Nations the gift of power that America is so blessed to have in abundance. I will pray for you that you will see. We can avoid all war, death and destruction, for with the truth of Christ's Love within, change must begin with us. The U.S. can be an ultimately good mark on our world. All we need you to do is let it.

God bless you, George.
And God bless the world, for
The entire globe needs it.

Chad Allen Gurley

Cc: Everyone


Monday, September 2, 2002

FLIGHT : He believes in you

Sent: 9/2/2002 4:56 PM


Dry your tears.
No more fears.
He believes in you.

Drop your burdens.
His Love is certain.
He believes in you.

Give repentance.
Make the difference.
He believes in you.


Be good humanity.
Love your enemy.
He believes in you.

You are special promise in His sight.
Jesus came to show how to do it right.
He believes in you.

You are His son.
You are His daughter.
He believes in you.

Fly for His glory.
Be your own story.
He believes in you.



FLIGHT : ATTN: Fellow GenXer's

Sent: 9/2/2002 4:03 PM

Alright Generation Xers, I think we can do this. Feeling God alive motivating us, we're going to make a really positive impact on the world. Yes, even with the responsibility of inheriting nuclear weapons. In fact, I truly believe He's depending on us to succeed.

It makes me laugh to think about when we were first labeled. We were the generation that they thought was hopeless and wasn't going to come to anything. We were thought slothful and heady. Well, the internet was our first go. Came out of that a little bruised, but reaping amazing benefits of short success. What's next?

Hello again.

Playschool ago. Puberty later. Adulthood is here, and we're going to do this right. We're going to do this Happy. I smile. You know, they have no idea the ultimate promise of Generation X. America's artists will Sonfully shine. Creative geniuses around every corner. Yes, God bless it, for we're going to start saying a few things based upon what we've observed down here so far. Remember; you fortunately schooled us to be intellectuals.

Some things have to change, and we're going to be it.


FLIGHT : Drops of Blessing

Sent: 9/2/2002 3:42 PM

God's blessings are overflowing this weekend with showers both outside my window and on my soul. I feel like the little child I saw catching drops on his pink outstretched tongue.

<>

It was an Unbelievable Honor to read Scripture in Riverside's worship service this morning. I stood in the pulpit and heard my voice across the cathedral. I love that it felt so good. =) Doing His will produces such happiness. Blessed. I read II Samuel 9:1-8, 13. I even managed to make it through the difficult to pronounce names. I felt at home. A blessing Plus as an honor plus further direction in my personal walk with God. And it was right. The pastor called out, "We need someone to go Lo-debar." I'm going to apply for the position. I have some Kindness I've been given more than abundantly to go around infinitely. Beautiful spiritual blessings.

God bless you Joan.

<>

So many more in addition. I can't thank you enough, Eternal Loving Father. Praise Your Amazing Name.

In Jesus Christ's name.

***

Christ is giving you great benefits. You're worthy of accepting them. Promise.

FLIGHT : The human touch

Sent: 9/2/2002 3:41 PM

The human touch

It amazes me how fearful we remain over touching one another. It is kind to pet our animals. We give them affection freely. I am reminded that we far more valuable in God's eyes than our pets. Yet our hugs go undone, touches only fantasy. Reservations later, we feel cold and alone and long for another human being to hold us. Life is hard. Reality is we need those supportive connections. Touch is good.

I have been telling a lot of my friends lately that I've really been missing the touch of a lover. Weary in time waiting. That touch that is healing, another caressing while tracing your skin. A pull close into a tightly secure hug. Giggles, play and love. I was blessed with a gift this weekend of a beautiful man who understood. We tenderly loving cared. It was wonderful to me.

And a further blessing, gladly surprised, I noticed today that it seems to have opened the floodgate of repressed human touch as I find myself kissing and hugging all I know. Suddenly Chad's touchy feely. How wonderful to feel the skin of those I love.

Yes, for your information, sometimes it's pretty depressing that I can't physically touch God. A big hug from Christ would be really nice every now and again. Someday.

Until then, can I depend on you?


FLIGHT : Preacher

Sent: 9/2/2002 3:38 PM

He stands and preaches.

It's finally time to take up my cross and Truly follow Christ on this path God is guiding. I am to become a preacher. Funny that I acted blind to all the direction God has offered throughout my life. Sweet memories of being a thoughtful child, playing "church", inviting all my stuffed animals into the holy living room for morning services. The sun traced the floor as I looked out from my makeshift pulpit, a cross in magic marker on the front. Joey my teddy bear looked up with brown eyes attentive and listening. Yes, I guess I've been practicing for this for a long time.

Of course, it's also taken me a long time to accept it. Humanly flawed, I never thought I could even try to represent the perfection that is Jesus Christ, and as a preacher of His Word, that is exactly what I want to do no matter its impossibility. Afraid that my human would fail Him. I felt so caught in between. Felt not worthy to receive God's call. Told Him to call back later. Smile. God never fails. He kept on calling and calling and calling. I'm so unbelievably glad I finally picked up.

Worthy? Well, it's breathtaking that Christ's grace through God's Plan frees me from being so sadly anchored by my own feelings of self-worthlessness that I would keep myself from flying. We are all precious in His sight. It takes us both. That it includes me. Chad. And being me, flaws and all, is important in God's eyes. Redeemed by Christ's love, God not only allows but needs me to be truly Chad to Truly succeed in His calling of me.

With Christ carrying me, I will succeed in His Love.

Pray for me! =)


Saturday, August 31, 2002

FLIGHT : Knew Songs

Sent: 8/31/2002 3:31 PM

There's something awesome to be said for a song that you can listen to over and over again at different places in your life with very unique listenings each time. There is one such song to which I listen sung by Jude on the City of Angels Soundtrack which I bought many years ago. The song is called, "I know" and is absolutely beautiful hopeful empathy.

When I first heard the song, I was at a place in life very shy of hope. I remember chirping it to myself, as to motivate me forward in my journey. I pulled myself away from the ledge while encouraging myself, "I know you Chad and understand. And even if you're feeling worthless, I promise that we're going to make it through this life. Just don't give up. I'm here for you."

Apricot and raspberry leaves fallen and sprung green later, I found myself listening to Jude's song again. As my voice searched the words, I found my heart was different. Having grown since the first listening, I discovered this time I was singing "I know" for one of my best friends. The music within me longed for her to see the beauty that she is, wanting her to blossom into her own with confidence; all the while completely understanding the woes that are always along the way, having felt those myself.

Frosty snows and beachy sands weathers again, now, here, weeping happily, I sit listening to Jude's "I know" another time. The enlightening flower. The Voice I hear singing this music leaves me in awe. For this time I hear God singing "I know" to me, and it's uncaptured in its petaled perfection. The music sunshowers as I hear God's most amazing loving song. The truth swells. He knows me, He loves me, He understands as He remembers through Christ exactly how it felt to be human, and He endearingly nudges me forward on the path He is guiding.

"I know you Chad and understand. Wipe those tears, My son. You are worthy. Praise and thanks be to your Brother Christ. I promise you will make it, for We're going to make it through together. No giving up, for you're not alone. I AM here for you. Always. I love you. Forever."


Friday, August 30, 2002

FLIGHT : You know

Sent: 8/30/2002 10:22 PM

Today seems a day of discovery, as my neighbor, singer, Annie found something new within her that she didn't have before. Continually growing.

I was sitting on the roof reading my meditation for today as the sun peaked out from dark clouds to the west. The meditation said something about going deep into the waters of God, utopia never reaching the shore, continually reaching deeper. I found myself quite content on what I must do, the next step I should take, the direction. Amidst this moment, I began praising God and then asking for His forgiveness for being doubtful. Praise and repent. Trying to justify my actions left me floundering, until I finally said, "You know." Blessings as I realized that He really does know. He knows me inside and out. He knows what I mean before I speak it. "You know."

And then He smiled at me and said, "And now you know."

The sunlight kissed my cheek.

I know.


Wednesday, August 28, 2002

FLIGHT : Days like today

Sent: 8/28/2002 4:54 PM


Days like today
I can only imagine play
although everyone tells
that's not what sells

Monday, August 26, 2002

FLIGHT : Return from Vacation

Sent: 8/26/2002 4:29 PM


Annoyed by situation
Dismayed by circumstance
Purple crayon seeming broken
Tired feet no longer dance

All seems hopeless
All seems dark

* * *

Upon return from my foggy vacation,
It's final hours quick in evaporating,
I am hopelessly exhausted to discover
The sameness that is still my reality.

Ironic
That as I sat on the airplane returning,
I restlessly mourned the thought of
Some change that was to happen.
And yet now within the return,
I discover I grieved the change of
Nothing.

Everything has stayed the nauseating same.

Policies' papers still left to be pushed about my work desk.
Polluted, negative air still adrift for me to breathe.
Lonesomeness still habiting under my covers.

I cry against all the sameness.
Wishing for different.
Praying for something more.

Muted struggles within my noisy mind
Reek havoc on my system,
Shutting me down.
My grief turns to slumber,
And in subconscious,
I find some safety from
The demons ever plaguing.

But eventually, I will wake,
and the sameness will still be.

My patience is wearing thin,
And I'm left searching for the
Window of escape.

* * *

If you were to ask me, Are you glad to be back?
I would have to ask you, To what?

Certainly there are things that I am happy to which to return;
However, there are those things that exist that I would gladly remain in vacation from.

Do you ever look around you and wonder
If you are spinning your wheels, wondering
If you are going forward at all in this life?

Do you ever lift your eyes to Heaven and
Ask the Father, Won't you please give me a clue?

Am I so blind that I do not see the progress I have made,
Or am I so discontented with the now that all the progress seems for naught?

Questions.

So many questions I face upon returning from the vacation.
If I had known that these questions were waiting,
I might have not come back.

Troubled times.
Troubled soul.

I wonder why I am here again,
And if I shan't be here,
then where am I to be?

Help me, dear Lord. Help me.



Friday, August 23, 2002

FLIGHT : Clouds

Sent: 8/23/2002 10:30 PM


Memories as a nine year old child
Plaid shirt back against the trampoline
Wide eyes to the royal blue sky
Bright white clouds floating by

Frame by frame captures an instant
My heart and mind unite to listen
As my Father plays with me and comforts
Through His heavenward illustrations

God's picture show provides inspiration
For my little soul in warmth glistens
Imagination brightly growing brighter
I see the things He has brought to bestow

Tuesday, August 6, 2002

FLIGHT : Money rips round me

Sent: 8/6/2002 2:06 PM


Slithering round
with effervescent apples
he coils my torso
rips my throat
stares in my eye

Slippery tongue enunciates

"My apples are nourishing
knowledge born materials
materials born happiness
a small price to pay
when you pay nothing now"

Sensibly reasonable
I think therefore am
more thinking
therefore
must lead
to an even Greater I am.

My human grabs, "I'll take your fruit
and think of all there is to know."

His fanged smile
widely inviting
sold me knowledge
scrumptious but foul
filling but empty
nauseating education

Studied how to repeat
hisstory
Learned me his reality

My spirit jolts in this horror

Credit he issued
for payment much later
no need to worry
right now


then.


Constricting green
with dollared scales
the boa sucks my life of passion
knifes my wrists
deflates my spirit

Whitely fanged smirk

"Your time now to pay
worth more dead
than alive
a larger price to pay
when you have nothing now"

Deathly original
hisstory's payment is due
with zeros
on every
single
individual, prices are spewed

My spirit prays, “Gracious Heavenly
Father, forgive me my debts.”

World’s master of inequity
escalates his interest
raises my price-tag
tightens his grip
reduces my value
roots in his evil
drains oil from my light

Enlightened by God’s
Plan
Ignited by Christ’s Love.

My spirit hallelujah’s in this Freedom

Repentance Christ gave
for all human hisstory
It is what He
died for

now.

* * *

When everyone eats apples,
and we are taught to eat apples,
how does one Truly defeat the
serpent?

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

FLIGHT : Party blues

Sent: 7/24/2002 8:43 PM

When I was in fourth grade, my best friend, Grant, and I had a summer swimming birthday party together. His birthday was in the beginning of July and mine at the end of June. We were gleeful at the opportunity to share a day together. As we chased each other around the pool in party hats, we laughed and joked and had a wonderful time. Unfortunate for me, the wonderful time ended when only a few of our friends showed up for the party. Why did that disappointment overshadow the good time I was already having?