Sent: 12/20/2005 7:33 PM
i find myself seeking love
in roaring desperation
a lion on the prowl
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
ME : His clicks
Sent: 12/20/2005 7:29 PM
His clicks mean that you are both beginning to fight,
and that doesn't seem quite right,
because you both know you fear Him,
so better to love one another than test any of them.
His clicks mean that you are both beginning to fight,
and that doesn't seem quite right,
because you both know you fear Him,
so better to love one another than test any of them.
ME : to cry.
Sent: 12/20/2005 7:19 PM
i feel as if i might
burst into tears
at any moment.
walking down
the sidewalk,
eyes glazed,
staring off ahead
of me at a blur.
i notice only
the streaks of light
twirling around
the fluorescents
in a kind of dance
of melancholy.
and it seems
always this way.
and it seems that
this is the way
i feel the most comfort,
yet the most discontent.
i hardly remember
what love felt
like anymore.
i can barely remember the joy
of looking into a face
who looked back adoringly.
and yet,
i am not even sure he's
who i am missing or sad for.
i feel that i
have broken
my own heart
somehow.
inadvertently,
i smashed it
with my own unkind words
and scolding.
it's as if i must
abuse grace
to believe it,
or strive for perfection
in ignoring it.
i teeter from one side
to another
unable to find balance.
and this petrifies me
into a place
of complete
and utter
stillness.
i do not
move.
i stand
alone.
and it
is
there
that
i
begin
to cry.
i feel as if i might
burst into tears
at any moment.
walking down
the sidewalk,
eyes glazed,
staring off ahead
of me at a blur.
i notice only
the streaks of light
twirling around
the fluorescents
in a kind of dance
of melancholy.
and it seems
always this way.
and it seems that
this is the way
i feel the most comfort,
yet the most discontent.
i hardly remember
what love felt
like anymore.
i can barely remember the joy
of looking into a face
who looked back adoringly.
and yet,
i am not even sure he's
who i am missing or sad for.
i feel that i
have broken
my own heart
somehow.
inadvertently,
i smashed it
with my own unkind words
and scolding.
it's as if i must
abuse grace
to believe it,
or strive for perfection
in ignoring it.
i teeter from one side
to another
unable to find balance.
and this petrifies me
into a place
of complete
and utter
stillness.
i do not
move.
i stand
alone.
and it
is
there
that
i
begin
to cry.
ME : thinking of words
Sent: 12/20/2005 6:50 PM
if i were to think of words to write down on this page
i think their meaning for you would not quite be the same
as mine
for words are evolving creatures in consensus among us all
Webster enters a five six and seven so somewhere there's a fall
in semantics
if i were to think of words to write down on this page
i think their meaning for you would not quite be the same
as mine
for words are evolving creatures in consensus among us all
Webster enters a five six and seven so somewhere there's a fall
in semantics
Friday, December 16, 2005
ME : U
Sent: 12/16/2005 8:15 PM
i'm going to read
a speech today
just me being me
and telling you
all i need to say
there is
i'm going to read
a speech today
just me being me
and telling you
all i need to say
there is
ME : attic
Sent: 12/16/2005 8:13 PM
he told us
to go everywhere,
to view his house
in its entirety,
so as i tried to climb
the ladder to the attic,
the steps fell
off the wall,
as he ran up to me
to say,
that was just for show.
he told us
to go everywhere,
to view his house
in its entirety,
so as i tried to climb
the ladder to the attic,
the steps fell
off the wall,
as he ran up to me
to say,
that was just for show.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
ME : constipated
Sent: 12/15/2005 11:02 PM
my muse has left me
run off with the sandman
to make inspired babies
cuddling next to the ocean
and i'm left here alone
constipated
salt between my legs
itching my hair
the ideas pound yet
quake instead of
surfing the shore
exiting
my muse has left me
run off with the sandman
to make inspired babies
cuddling next to the ocean
and i'm left here alone
constipated
salt between my legs
itching my hair
the ideas pound yet
quake instead of
surfing the shore
exiting
Saturday, December 3, 2005
ME : eggs
Sent: 12/3/2005 12:06 AM
it's left me
disappeared
like the Easter eggs
i've looked for
before
in the country club greens
somehow never
to be found
by me at least
and i felt alone
not wanting to win
'the one with the least'
you know
i might have won that time
it's left me
disappeared
like the Easter eggs
i've looked for
before
in the country club greens
somehow never
to be found
by me at least
and i felt alone
not wanting to win
'the one with the least'
you know
i might have won that time
ME : dark
Sent: 12/3/2005 12:05 AM
you were fumbling in the dark
for the light switch
under the nightlight
that had burned out two nights ago
when you gave the advice
to see
you were fumbling in the dark
for the light switch
under the nightlight
that had burned out two nights ago
when you gave the advice
to see
ME : gutter times
Sent: 12/3/2005 12:00 AM
i've fallen back down into the gutter
and still i hear echoed footsteps stop
Light beams through the bars' shadows
and His hand reaches through lines
to touch mine
i've fallen back down into the gutter
and still i hear echoed footsteps stop
Light beams through the bars' shadows
and His hand reaches through lines
to touch mine
Friday, December 2, 2005
ME : i wish it would run into a stretch
Sent: 12/2/2005 11:58 PM
i wish it would run into a stretch
cast my arms open wide
lean back into into the pulling
feel the weight of my belonging
knowing it will come
i wish i could finally feel free
to be totally me
cascading
i wish it would run into a stretch
cast my arms open wide
lean back into into the pulling
feel the weight of my belonging
knowing it will come
i wish i could finally feel free
to be totally me
cascading
ME : a gun for shooting doves
Sent: 12/2/2005 11:55 PM
he had
a gun for shooting doves
in the glove compartment
of his car
he had
a gun for shooting doves
in the glove compartment
of his car
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