10/11/2007 4:20 PM
It’s drizzling in New York City today. Cloudy skies and windy remnants of the severe storm, which plundered through the North American plains, dropping at least 28 tornados along the Midwest and South, are now passing over us here in the Northeast in a rather gloomy, anti-climatic fashion. And I can help but feel a little melancholy, although I’m not exactly sure why. The weather isn’t helping my mood much, but that’s not really the crux of what has me feeling dreary. At least, I don’t believe so. Perhaps it’s because time this week has moved in slow motion, each second seeming much longer than the “tick” of “ticktock”, giving me all the more moments to reflect, allowing discontent to rupture.
Earlier today, I read a small part of an interview with a well-known actor, and the title of the article was something to the affect of “He knows where he’s going and where he wants to go”. Upon reading that, I let out a silent moan thinking, good grief, I really only know where I’ve been. Where am I to go; actually, where do I want to go? Those are questions aspirations are made of, and I still haven’t quite figured out any of it yet. (And is that something that has to be figured out, I’ve wondered?) In any case, it made me grumble with slight jealousy that while others are ambitiously working their way towards their “goals”, I am still a little kid looking out the window at the rain falling, day-dreaming away the days, within a 30-something year old body, which, it would seem, should be somewhere much further along in this thing we call life.
Alas, I digress and must assert to myself that sometimes daydreams do billow into dreams, which can then burst into goals, which just might motivate this little kid towards some grand aspiration other than watching drizzling precipitation. We can hope!
