Sent: 2/25/2004 8:54 PM
Life is up and down, outside inside, inside outside, topsy turvy. As I walked home from work today, I noticed that the moon is back out in view. I always miss it when it is gone. It's like a comforting bright light in the night for me. It seems to help me see my way, and when it is new and hidden behind the shadow, it always seems to affect me. I'm not sure if this is astrological or just my perception; nevertheless, it is.
I found out this afternoon that I will have to find a new place to live in two months. My landlord has sold our building and is generous in giving me time to find a new home. Although I'm not worried and do trust that God has a place in store for me, I can't help but feel melancholy as I do love this little place so much. It is hard to be uprooted yet again, and it does call into question just what I'm doing here in New York City.
I have this overwhelming feeling that I am to be here and that everything is as it should be, but impatience overwhelms me, and I keep wondering and asking, just when are things going to start moving more quickly in my life. When will I find that happiness that I seem to have sought all my life. Am I getting any closer? I hope so. I pray so.
Ironic that on the day of my mom and dad's wedding anniversary, President Bush declared that I shouldn't be allowed one. The present government frustrates me and causes much despair for me when thinking of those persons that will follow me in time if everything is to remain as it is. Poor human beings. After so much time and so much suffering, one would think that we, as a complete body, would learn. Alas, I'm afriad we are learning all the wrong things.
These are my thoughts today. Perhaps they aren't the most poetic. My voice has been muted. Hopefully soon I will be given the strength and encouragement to speak again. Again, I pray so.
