Sent: 10/19/2003 11:53 AM
I didn't go to church today. I actually woke up from a two-day slumber. I fell asleep on Friday night, and didn't really wake until Sunday afternoon. My lips were blue. My gums were white. My eyes were faded. My skin cracked white. I have been drowning in thoughts as of late. Unconsciousness has seemed my only relief. The anniversary of September 11th has me looking at everything in my life with particular peculiar interest. And I like it. Yet its intensity. But it's different than before. And change is hard. Another year has fallen on a sword. And where am I? Where am I?
I was in the shower, my thoughts swept around me in the mist. My hands massaged shampoo in my hair, my thoughts poured into my ears. Life, life, life. I cried aloud, "My God, help me or I shall go mad." ===> Live, live, live.
I didn't go to church today. I actually woke up from a two-day sleep. Smiling, shining, the Son was in the sky, when I did decide to venture outside from under my stagnant warm covers. Leaves scratched the pavement's itch as pushed along by their invisible force. Wind. Fall. It was time for falling. Leaves me but not forgotten. That before is gone. That after is just beginning. Wind. Fall. New. Thank God for New.
And then I knew. That's where I am. New.
