CHAPTER 2 : rain

Sent: 3/13/2002 8:01 PM

(Roses opening gracefully in the midst of dying lilac is quite beautiful.)

It's raining in New York City today, and, from what I hear, it is a much needed relief from a drought we've been having. Shamefully, I hadn't noticed. I thought all these pretty blue skies and clear, star-filled nights were super-dooper, not realizing that the earth was suffering. And I hadn't noticed. See, I can recall days of clouds and rain and me feeling hopelessly depressed, as I wandered aimlessly about with a little black rain cloud overhead, pouring. My eyes were so tightly closed, if there was sunlight, I couldn't see it. I wouldn't see it. Those were hard rainy days struggling, praying for sight. Drowning. Flooded.

And thank God, my eyes were opened.

Unfortunately, though, whenever it gets cloudy or rainy outside, I can still feel that old feeling of saddness. It's always difficult to break from that emotion while walking to work in the rain, hair matted to your head, soaked to Fruit of the Looms. =) Okay, no, I haven't been upset that for a while now, the skies have been brightfully clear. And being so overwhelmed with consistent bright sunny skies, I forgot to take a look under me to see what's holding me up to that light. Selfishly forgot, I'm afraid.

Earth holds me up. She's my mother.

Thankfully, she is being rescued today by steady falling rain outside. The little black rain cloud which I had thought was over my head all those years has mysteriously transformed into a rather large black kettle springing endless water for my Earth. She must be thrilled. She laughs as the kisses of life plip-plop to her lips. Limitless. Nourishing. Spring must be close.