Annoyed by situation
Dismayed by circumstance
Purple crayon seeming broken
Tired feet no longer dance
All seems hopeless
All seems dark
* * *
Upon return from my foggy vacation,
It's final hours quick in evaporating,
I am hopelessly exhausted to discover
The sameness that is still my reality.
Ironic
That as I sat on the airplane returning,
I restlessly mourned the thought of
Some change that was to happen.
And yet now within the return,
I discover I grieved the change of
Nothing.
Everything has stayed the nauseating same.
Policies' papers still left to be pushed about my work desk.
Polluted, negative air still adrift for me to breathe.
Lonesomeness still habiting under my covers.
I cry against all the sameness.
Wishing for different.
Praying for something more.
Muted struggles within my noisy mind
Reek havoc on my system,
Shutting me down.
My grief turns to slumber,
And in subconscious,
I find some safety from
The demons ever plaguing.
But eventually, I will wake,
and the sameness will still be.
My patience is wearing thin,
And I'm left searching for the
Window of escape.
* * *
If you were to ask me, Are you glad to be back?
I would have to ask you, To what?
Certainly there are things that I am happy to which to return;
However, there are those things that exist that I would gladly remain in vacation from.
Do you ever look around you and wonder
If you are spinning your wheels, wondering
If you are going forward at all in this life?
Do you ever lift your eyes to Heaven and
Ask the Father, Won't you please give me a clue?
Am I so blind that I do not see the progress I have made,
Or am I so discontented with the now that all the progress seems for naught?
Questions.
So many questions I face upon returning from the vacation.
If I had known that these questions were waiting,
I might have not come back.
Troubled times.
Troubled soul.
I wonder why I am here again,
And if I shan't be here,
then where am I to be?
Help me, dear Lord. Help me.
