Sent: 2/18/2002 9:54 PM
Where are You? I'm disheartened and lost. I'm trying to help, only to find myself slammed into another wall of the world. The world provides so many walls. Where are Your openings? Where are Your streams of golden glory? I would run fast to them, if only I could see them. Oh, if only I could have glimpses of Your rays bursting through the cracks in the world, illuminating the dark alleys of my journey!
And, alas, there is where my faith lacks. Why must I SEE these flecks of light? Why must they be so bright, Doubting Thomas? They ARE there. My human sight is not that good. My faith should be.
Oh, God, I'm so saddened that my kindess has left me in suffering. I'm in deep sorrow. I want so much to believe that, in the beginning, it all has a purpose. Please say that it does! I believe that it does.
How hard for us humans to understand! Oh how difficult for us to see the divine! Our scope is far too narrow, and it is painstaking in widening it.
Nevertheless, it must widen.
Tears is what I cry for. Tears. I need an emotional release. I need a doorway from myself. I need my pain to escape me. Please give it the routes. Sail it away. Along the wrinkles round my eyes, across the flushed plains of my cheek, over the horizon of my jaw. Sail.
***
Amazing, your peace comes so quickly.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
You are my love forever.
