Sent: 9/2/2002 3:38 PM
He stands and preaches.
It's finally time to take up my cross and Truly follow Christ on this path God is guiding. I am to become a preacher. Funny that I acted blind to all the direction God has offered throughout my life. Sweet memories of being a thoughtful child, playing "church", inviting all my stuffed animals into the holy living room for morning services. The sun traced the floor as I looked out from my makeshift pulpit, a cross in magic marker on the front. Joey my teddy bear looked up with brown eyes attentive and listening. Yes, I guess I've been practicing for this for a long time.
Of course, it's also taken me a long time to accept it. Humanly flawed, I never thought I could even try to represent the perfection that is Jesus Christ, and as a preacher of His Word, that is exactly what I want to do no matter its impossibility. Afraid that my human would fail Him. I felt so caught in between. Felt not worthy to receive God's call. Told Him to call back later. Smile. God never fails. He kept on calling and calling and calling. I'm so unbelievably glad I finally picked up.
Worthy? Well, it's breathtaking that Christ's grace through God's Plan frees me from being so sadly anchored by my own feelings of self-worthlessness that I would keep myself from flying. We are all precious in His sight. It takes us both. That it includes me.
With Christ carrying me, I will succeed in His Love.
Pray for me! =)
