Sent: 7/13/2001 5:54 PM
I have had the worst headache today. I am causing myself lots of stress. I won't go into the details, for there is no reason for you to worry. Just me, running myself around like a crazy person, thinking that every little "i" should be dotted and every little "t" should be crossed. Ugh! Finally, about 4:00 p.m. today, things started to come together. If they hadn't, I was going to miserable for the entire weekend. Let's all say a prayer of thanks for everything coming together . . . "Thanks Chase Manhattan Bank."
Yes, that's what my life feels like, like I have to pray to a damn bank. Worse, it's Chase Manhattan Bank which has singled me out to torment and ridicule. It is insistent on making my life intolerable. Okay, so maybe I'M the one who put myself in a position of being a Bank's victim, but I still feel like a victim. How can one not feel like a victim when someone else holds onto your life support device. I hate money. Let's just leave it at that.
Do I sound upset? I really don't mean to. I'm not upset really. It's just been one of those days - you know those days. We all have them; we don't know why they occur; we hate them; we don't know how to stop them once they get rolling. Dad says to look in the mirror in the morning and say, "Today is going to be a great day," and you know something, my first mistake this morning was forgetting to tell myself that very thing! I've never wanted to admit it, but when I DO tell myself that today will be a great day, it usually is. Why don't I do that more often?
Well, I'm off to see a movie with
